Separation Anxiety

Remember when our littles figured out we where leaving the room.  You could step away 2 steps but if you were out of view- the tears would start. You would quick scuddle back to reassure that all was well.  There is that brief time in a child’s development where you leaving,  is like you are never are coming back.

Fast forward 16 years for me and I’m feeling a little that way myself!  This fall both my kids went off to a boarding Christian high school. I’m excited for them, they were ready. But it’s a new normal and a bit unsettling as these amazing humans that I have poured into for a decade and half,  leave the house.  Three o’clock rolls around and I’m not sure what to do with myself! No music lessons, library trips or after school activities.  The first week was rough. I had lost my spark. Cooking for two is weird.  Sensing my pouting,  my friend penned and then gifted the following poem to me. I was encouraged and needed the timely reminder of the truth held on the page. I share with you parents who may also be feeling some separation anxiety as the circle of life beats on!  Rest easy. It’s ok to be sad for a little bit..its all part of our development.  And you thought we were done….

liveout loud


For The Brokenhearted

Debra Snyder

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”  Psalms 34:18

I’ve stood in the background but have always been near

Watching you mold, raise and love them with strength and sometimes fear

The joy of a family I’ve helped you to know

It brings Me much happiness as I watched it grow

All the while the thought in the back of your mind

Is that they aren’t just yours, but they are also Mine

One day soon you know you will have to let them go

You talk to me and share how you wish it wasn’t so

I know that you stay strong and with them put on a brave face

But to me you confess the ache and pain, you ask for it to be replaced

The quiet days ahead you sometimes find yourself dreading

We talk about those days, the emptiness you feel and ask me to take, even start begging

Through it all though you have remained strong and also true

What I have asked of you for My children you have done and will continue to do

I want you to know dear one that I feel all you do and more

My own dear Son I sent away to save you, all your sins he bore

You see when I created mankind I wanted them to truly know love

For them to understand fully it is a gift from above

So when you look into those faces that are a part of Me as well as you

Know that I will go with them even when you cannot, it is my gift and what I shall do

Remember that to you all I am always right here

Holding everyone close with a love stronger than anyone’s fear

For I have said in My word I am near to the brokenhearted

My love and strength remain they have never ever departed

The job I entrusted you with you have done and been faithful

You have raised them up well and for you I am forever grateful

Rest now in Me and begin to renew your strength

Give yourself My peace, of My waters come and drink

They will always need you as My son still needed Me

Let all my words comfort you now, bring you peace and set you free

 For you have trained them up in the way they should go

Together we will help them continue to choose the seed we will forever sow

Love your Father




Happy Birthday!

Seventeen years ago my son, among many other precious little ones, was a 9/11 baby. Born the day after on the 12th..he is nonetheless a 9/11 baby in my heart.

I woke up the morning of the 11th with “pregnant”  anticipation. Stubbornly my first child was in breach presentation and despite a failed attempt at rotating him in my belly, I had a scheduled c- section the next day.  Home by myself, I commenced my morning routine of waffles and Good Morning America. But the morning was anything but routine.   Continue reading