Here’s your sign

HERE IS YOUR

No,  I’m not talking about the redneck variety, although my husband has certainly earned a few in his lifetime. I’m talking about the spotlight from heaven that highlights life’s path. The shining beam that when accompanied by a chorale singing a harmonious “ahhhh” signals-this is God’s plan for me!  

But, it’s just not that easy!

With all the choices we are faced with on daily basis, it sure would be helpful to have a celestial sign, signaling “Pick ME!.” Continue reading

Call for help!

My first year a nurse I didn’t cope well.  Still today, the  occasional nightmare visits me. I dream about  missing assessments and drugs not passed in time and I haven’t been a floor nurse in 12 years!    I’m happy to say things did get better but that inaugural year was tough. Awash with anxiety,  I really couldn’t put my finger on the one thing making bonkers. Overwhelmed with what was expected of me and what I expected of me- I dreaded going to work.  I’m embarrassed to say, I called in to my supervisor many times stating I was sick and wouldn’t be working because I could not deal.

So you can imagine how things went with my first code.  The hours of 7p-9p are a busy time on most nursing units.  That night I was hustling. Attempting to assess and  introduce myself to all 10-12 of my patients, field phone calls, review the drugs and administer them on time and make sure I had working IV’s.  Despite the pace,  I felt I was starting to get the hang of things. Life, however,  was about to play a cruel trick.  
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Pretty or Pink

Recently home for a few days, I woke up early and wandered around the house.  Memories of the past peaked out from every corner.   It is special to return home-to your childhood spaces.   There is the one heater vent tucked behind the couch that my brother and I would rush to warm ourselves by in the morning-him always beating me out.  The little spiders I engraved on the wall while talking on the phone for hours.  The closet that I knew was the perfect hiding place.  The creepy room, I still don’t like to go in.  Then there are the key holes that are big enough to watch mom wrap our gifts through. Continue reading

Stuck in Drive

I have no business writing a blog.  I spend my day in insurance speak, surgical procedure codes, diagnosis codes, denial codes, dollars and cents. Not exactly inspiring stuff.  Heap on the fact that I turned 40 and lost the ability to verbally communicate.  I’ll be talking to you and loose words mid sentence. Gone, poof!  Left to stutter or trail off,  leaving confusion in my wake. One evening,  I actually spent 10 minutes trying to think of the word “transform” with only an image of a butterfly and the letter “t” to jog my memory.  Ridiculous. Is this some type of stroke? Continue reading